How do you know? Do you really “know when you know”?
As shared on Aplus.com by Mandy Velez, knowing someone is right for you extends much deeper than the butterflies in your stomach. It’s both loving who that person is as a human being, and knowing they make you a better person, too.
Of course, this is no magic formula, but Mandy Velez can attest that someone with more than half of these qualities is not only a keeper, but more importantly, just a flat-out amazing person. After all, shouldn’t they be one in the same?
1. They surprise you for no other reason than to see a smile on your face
2. They listen to you, really listen, when you talk
3. You miss them when they’re gone
4. But you also can still live your life when they’re away, too
5. You can see a future with them
6. You genuinely want them in your life
7. You love them as not just a lover, but as a person
8. If you just met at a bar, you know you’d think they were awesome
9. You have similar interests and goals
10. Still, they teach you new things
11. They want the best for you
12. And they always lift you up
13. They’re okay with helping you when you need a favour
14. They compliment you without being prompted
15. They get along with your family
16. They follow through on their promises
17. Your friends like them
18. Their little quirks only bother you for a little bit, but you know it doesn’t make or break them
19. They never make rude, mean or hurtful comments
20. They never talk negatively about your appearance
21. When you both fight, you fight fair (no name-calling)
22. They can make you smile just by looking at them
23. Or turned on
24. They can make a bad day good just knowing you’ll get to talk to them about it
25. They will be honest with you, and will appreciate you doing the same
BONUS: If you’re thinking of a person after this, it’s a good sign.
As described in point #5 here in John Kim’s post on MindBodyGreen.com, the C-word, communication, is not a man’s speciality. So, thank you for this window into the rabbit-hole of a man’s psyche, Mr. John Kim!
1. To feel like your hero
We don’t want to be your Clark Kent. We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us as leaping tall buildings in a single bound and catching bullets. We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. Or at least feel that way. And I know it’s our job to get there, but nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible. If you make us feel invincible, we’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet.
There’s a new T-shirt trending Los Angeles titled “Love Me Anyways.” They should make them for men. Because we NEED to feel that when we stack the dishes in the dishwasher like a five year-old, say the wrong thing in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up, get too logical, forget something you’ve said a thousand times, that you love us anyways. Because inside every man is a boy who forgets he’s a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.
Unconditional support from our woman is what will snap us out of our boyish behavior and inject us with a desire to be a stronger man. Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.
3. Not to be left in the dark
So many women don’t tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they’re afraid. The truth is when you don’t express yourself, you leave us in the dark. We don’t really know the truth of you. You are prepackaging and presenting parts of your life instead of doing your whole life with us.
Couples grow and get stronger overcoming adversity, not by doing life separately. Know that every time you hold things in, you are building walls inside the sacred space of the relationship. No, we don’t want you to verbally vomit on us. But believe it or not, we really do want to know who you truly are.
4. Blinders sex
There’s sex. Then there’s blinders sex, the kind of sex that gives you blinders, keeps your eyes forward and intentions straight when you’re out in the world. Let’s face it. Men are going to look. They’re like squirrels. They get distracted by shiny things. But there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Blinders sex gets men to say, “Yeah, she may be pretty but I would never trade in what I have for anything else.”
Blinders sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique connection with someone who makes you fantasize about them in the shower, call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and eating Oreos. It produces glue that cannot happen with anyone else.
5. The C-word
Communication. Without it, relationships are built on sand. We want you to communicate directly. We don’t get clues. We need things spelled out. And we understand that if you have to spell it out, it’s not the same. You don’t just want us to do the dishes. You want us to want to do the dishes. We get it. OK, then tell us. Explain. Model how you would like us to communicate back.
For many of us, communication is not our specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, men tend to pull from a logical place. Women pull from an emotional place. If you can meet us at logic, we will match your emotions. Hopefully. But we need you to tell us.
There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner. Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. We get to see the raw and real you, a different type of naked. Now, if we do this together, we’re in the act of building something, a lifestyle. We’re not just talking. We’re doing. And that’s hot.
7. To have our own lives
We may not say it, because how do you tell the person you love to get a life? But we really want you to have your own life. Really. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions. Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.
Because if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg. Also, if you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you. Forget legs. Let’s put our relationship on wheels. One is yours. One is mine. And together, we’ll ride.
Guys – do you agree? Any points to add?
Ladies – thoughts? Valuable information or more of what you already knew?
Not that you needed to hear these 9 signs to know you’ve found the man you are going to make your husband… But hey, it is always satisfying to check each off the list knowing you have found your Prince Charming right?!
There’s one thing we’re all chasing after. One force that trumps money, power or reason, and that very closely dictates the kind of people we become. And it’s love.
Falling in love is like coming home. Your worries are quieted and you feel protected in your partner’s arms. The man you give your heart to just feels right.
When you’re deep in love, it’s hard not to picture the rest of your life with that other person. But how do we know for certain that it’s real forever and not just a current fantasy?
Perhaps we’re a little old-fashioned, but we like to believe that marriage — for better or for worse — is sacred for life. Here are the nine signs you’ve found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with:
1. You don’t need to be “on” in front of him
Good days and bad days, he understands who you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. In his eyes, you’re special by just being you. There’s no pretending.
During those lazy times when all you want to do is lounge in stained sweatpants and not formulate sentences, he gets it because he’s right there with you. You can totally be yourself — whatever mood you’re in — and he always thinks you shine.
2. Your happiness is his happiness, and vice versa
You know he’s the one because he’s good to you in ways that you’ve never thought possible. He wants what’s best for you, even if it comes at a cost to him.
The man you marry gives selflessly, as your interests are now his interests. In fact, he thinks he’s being selfish when he indulges in you because it brings him pleasure, too.
To that end, he can balance ambitions at work with ambitions at home. Some stages or careers are more difficult than others, but he finds ways to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about you.
3. Even at the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with him
No matter what kind of crummy mood you’re in, you’d rather be with him than be alone, for you’re better with him than without him.
He patiently listens while you speak your mind and he won’t invalidate your concerns with his honest feedback. His confidence and passion positively influence your own, which makes your relationship all the more exciting. You want to be near him, always.
4. The attraction is palpable
Physically, emotionally and mentally, you two are compatible on all those levels. The chemistry between you both is powerful enough to block everything else out. Sometimes it feels like it’s just him that really matters.
Even doing the littlest things together, such as running to the grocery store, feel more special because he’s around. The attraction is pervasive from the bedroom to the most platonic of places, like the doctor’s office. You can’t keep your hands off each other and you certainly aren’t holding back.
5. You want to share every experience with him
When you envision your future, he has a major role in it (and vice versa). The idea of spending the rest of your life with him doesn’t scare you. Being by his side is where you feel most comfortable.
When something funny happens or you receive good news, you immediately want to share it with him first. When a cheesy love song comes through your headphones, you instinctively think of him.
From what he ate for lunch to what he’s currently watching on television, you’re interested in all that he does. And, while you sometimes hate to admit this, you’re more inclined to do something if he’s part of it. That’s just what companionship is to you.
6. You have the same idea of romance
Sometimes you feel like you’re in a “Twilight” movie with all this inexplicable magic and love buzzing around. Whatever your definition of romance is — intimate dinners, long road trips, cuddling in bed — he shares in it and will go the extra step to make that happen.
He won’t shy away from pouring his heart out or opening up to you because he trusts you and wants to connect with you on a deeper level. He’ll always be your man, but he’s not afraid to show you a softer side either.
7. You love more than you fight
It never feels good to fight because you care too much about him to hurt him. The compromise always seems like the best option because you both can be happy. But at the end of the day, you really can’t stay mad at each other for long.
8. He not only listens to you, but he also hears what you’re saying
He can read between the lines and anticipate your needs without you having to communicate them all the time. He’s thoughtful and well-intentioned like that.
He knows what you are trying to say without having to always explain yourself. You help each other grow and become the people you want to be.
9. He accepts you as you are
You’re messier, louder and maybe less funny, but he loves you for it. He makes you feel good about all those things you might dislike about yourself.
And he brags about you to his friends because he’s so proud to call you his own. You would brag more, except everyone already knows how enamored you are.
He knows everything about you — good and bad — and appreciates both because it’s all part of who you are.
You are his, he is yours and suddenly it all feels comfortingly simple.
Got to love Elite Daily – the voice of Gen Y…. In the article titled, 10 Definitive Ways To Tell You’re In Love With The Right Someone, Eric Santos shares his thoughts on the 10 ways to know if you might be in love – rather than in like – with someone. He speaks from personal experience, as he recalls when he first fell in love with his girlfriend. He specifically recounts the transition from when he liked his girlfriend to when he began to love her. A sweet, honest and legit top 10 list.
1. The best part of your day
As Childish Gambino said, “When I’m alone, I’d rather be with you.” Seeing my girlfriend is always the highlight of my day. If you really love someone, you never truly get tired of him or her.
No matter how great your day might be going, your special person will make it better. When you just like someone, he or she might make your day better, but probably isn’t the best part.
2. The first person you think about
Your love will be the first person you think about when you wake up and the last person you think about before you go to sleep. When something good happens to you, this is the first person you want to tell.
When something bad happens to you, you look to this person for support.
3. Prioritize above your own needs
Love is selfless. I was the most important person in my world until I met my girlfriend. Once I fell in love with her, her needs became much more important than my own.
This is just how love is. Your needs always seem trivial in comparison to your significant other’s needs.
4. You’d do anything
If I tried to construct a list of things I wouldn’t do for my girlfriend, the list would be pretty empty. When you’re in love with someone, you do whatever you can to make the person happy.
When you like someone, you may feel like there is a lot you would do for the person, but you have your limits. True love knows no limits.
5. You are never afraid to express your feelings in public
I have this semi-bad habit of telling the world how in love I am with my girlfriend.
When you’re truly in love, you want everyone to know. You are not bashful about your feelings by any means. When you like someone, there is a lot of holding back on how you feel.
6. You love the imperfections
My girlfriend is the most beautiful girl I know, but she does have some imperfections. But, to me, they’re not imperfections — they’re unique qualities and things I love.
When I tease her about them, she thinks I am making fun of her, but I am truly just admiring them. Love is the ability to know and accept someone’s faults.
You may know the imperfections of a person you like, but having the capacity to embrace them likely won’t happen unless you fall in love.
7. You think long-term
When you’re in love with someone, it’s hard to imagine a future without the person in it. For this reason, you will think long-term about how you can build a life with this person.
You won’t give in to short-term temptations that might mess up your long-term goals. When you just like someone, thinking long-term can be pretty scary.
8. You become a better person
No one is perfect; we all have room for improvement. But, being in love will force you to work on these things.
You want to become the best version of yourself for the person you love. I am a better person now than I was before I met my girlfriend.
9. Your feelings are unconditional
When you love someone unconditionally, it means that your love knows no conditions and is absolute. I don’t actually like the term “unconditional love” because I think it’s redundant — I believe all true love is unconditional.
When you like someone, your feelings change depending on the condition.
10. Your love is your best friend
Sometime along the way, my girlfriend became my best friend. I believe this to be true for most people who fall in love.
Your significant other becomes your partner in crime. You feel like, together, you can take on the world.
Courtesy of GQ, author John Jannuzzi straight talks from the hip, and shares that there is a lot more to a diamond than meets the eye. From man to man, this article walks you through some basic knowledge of the diamond engagement ring world.
Check out GQ’s 7 Essential Tips for Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring below, and read the full article here.
1. You don’t have to go this alone.
There’s a lot of pressure put on this tiny stone, which is appropriate because diamonds are formed when carbon is exposed to earth-crushing pressure. I’d suggest bringing in reinforcements to help you decide on the exact right ring. By now, you’ve hopefully met your companion’s friends and family. Should you want some guidance, they’re an excellent place to start. It’s also fairly common to make the ring decision together these days. I know plenty of married couples who did some joint ring shopping, ensuring that everybody winds up happy.
2. Sneak a peak at her jewelry box.
Before we start on about carats and what not, figure out her style and what kind of metal she wears. Does your intended have a lot of platinum jewelry? Have they mentioned a disgust for all things gold, especially rose gold? Hopefully by now you’ve learned enough of their taste to make a very well-educated decision. After deciding on the basics, you can add in the fixings like scrollwork or inscriptions. That’s again, a matter of their taste. In my honest opinion, it’s best to keep things simple, but I’m not the one wearing this ring.
3. Get rock solid, ahem, rock knowledge.
Now that you’ve figured out the band, it’s on to the rock or rocks. Most engagement rings have a diamond on them, a tradition you can thank the marketing minds at DeBeers for. Remember, after the two of you share this moment, this ring will come under the scrutiny of every single person in your network of friends. It may be blasted to instagram (please discourage at all costs) or find its way to Facebook and it will most definitely be the subject of conversation amongst all of your affianced’s brunch dates. Every diamond in the world is measured on a standard of 4 Cs. These measurements stand for color, cut, clarity and carat weight.
Color is the most obvious of the 4 Cs, because, it refers to the stone’s color. The best color rankings are D, E and F, all of which are considered colorless. The ranking basically describes how much light the stone reflects. The Rihanna lyric, “shine bright like a diamond” is probably referring to a near colorless diamond, the less color the brighter the shine. The color scale goes from D-Z, the latter meaning light yellow with a poor reflection of light. It’s nearly impossible to find a completely colorless diamond, so don’t go nuts on this end. 4. Consider going fancy.
Exempt from the color scale are fancy diamonds. These gems are stones with strong hues like yellow, blue, pink or red. Fancy diamonds are considered more rare, are more expensive and are exempt from the D-Z scale. The ring that loosely bonded Bennifer together all those years ago was a fancy diamond, but even then, she’s was still Jenny from the block. If you’re going the fancy diamond route for your ring, I would like to be your friend so I can hang out in your mansion. 5. Choose your cut wisely.
This is very important. The cut of a diamond doesn’t refer to the shape, but to how it is sliced and diced. When you look at a diamond, I’m sure you notice the different facets, faces, and edges. These are all elements of the cut, and each detail works together to let the diamond shine at it’s maximum. So, where as color may refer to how clear and empty a stone is, cut allows the light to reflect perfectly. A poorly cut diamond won’t be quite as brilliant in the end. Although round brilliants are fairly standard, there are other options to consider: princess, cushion, heart, pear, marquise, radiant, oval, Asscher and emerald. Each of these highlight different qualities of the stone. Like all aspects of this ring, the cut will come down to personal preference, but just make sure you’re choosing one that brings out the best of the rock in question.
6. Clarity counts, but don’t get hung up on it.
As you can see, there’s a lot more to a diamond than meets the eye. In fact, what doesn’t meet the eye is usually what makes a diamond more expensive. The third C, clarity, is a measure of how flawed a diamond is. The ideal here is the “FL” grade, meaning completely flawless. This just means that when viewed under a microscope, there are no blemishes or inclusions, which are marks of impurity within the stone. Much like the legendary D diamonds, FL diamonds are extremely rare. Don’t get hung up on buying an FL. The next grade down from FL is IF, or internally flawless. The scale continues to “very very slightly included all the way to just straight up “included.” Stick as close to the top as you can.
7. Bigger isn’t always better.
The last of the 4 Cs is the one you’re probably familiar with: carat weight. The higher the carats, the bigger the stone. Simple. The Hope Diamond, which you saw on your middle school field trip to The Smithsonian, for example, clocks in at 45.52 carats. Damn. That’s one big rock. A lot of guys I know think that bigger is better here, but consider who you’re giving this to. Big diamonds can be ostentatious, and that may be totally fine for the receiver, but just give it a second thought.
Guys like Spence too…
We get it… Most guys would rather get a root canal than walk into a jewellery store. They’re uncomfortable, they’re overpriced and they’re intimidating. Spence, on the other hand, is guy-friendly. You can’t make a mistake shopping with us.
You get to browse thousands of rings designs in open showcases, uninterrupted. Each design has a price tag. You can use real gem-lab instruments to peer into your diamond while brushing up on your diamond education.
You got this, and Spence has your back. We’re here for you whenever you’re ready to get started on a ring that will far exceed her expectations. See you soon.
With summer solstice around the corner, wedding season will soon officially be in full bloom! With many brides, bridesmaids, MOBs and families preparing to celebrate love and joy on their special days, Stylelist.com shared 8 Wedding Hair & Makeup Dos and Don’ts. Most of these tips seem like common sense, but when the frenzy and excitement of wedding planning kicks in, it can be very easy to overlook these basic Dos and Don’ts!
#1: Don’t ignore you skin; do start with a great base.
#2: Don’t cover up your greys with all-over colour; do use a root touch-up.
#3: Don’t let all the hot tools damage your hair; do prepare by nourishing your hair.
#4: Don’t worry about chipped nails; do keep a small bottle of polish by your side on the big day. (Added Spence tip: Do shellac to not have to worry about chips!)
#5: Don’t wait till the last-minute; do prepare, test and try.
#6: Don’t overdo it; do keep it simple.
#7: Don’t just pack tissues; do wear long-lasting eyeliner.
#8: Don’t get lipstick all over your guests and groom; do wear a lipstick that lasts.
Click here to read the full article on Stylelist.com and the details on each tip.
Science has proven time and time again that being in love and being married are actually good for your physical and mental health!
Below are the 6 science-backed secrets that are discussed:
Life-long romance IS possible.
They maintain a sense of “love blindness.”
They’re always trying new things together.
They avoid neediness by preserving their independence.
Their passion for life carries over into their relationship.
They see their relationship as journey together towards self-fulfillment.
“The trifecta of a romantic relationship – intense love, sexual desire and long-term attachment – can seem elusive, but it may not be as uncommon or unattainable in marriages as we’ve been conditioned to think.” To read the full article, click here.
Call it outdated, old-fashioned, sexist, chauvinistic… Yet, asking a woman’s father (or mother) for her hand in marriage is still viewed by many women as a sweet, thoughtful and respectful tradition. It is a gesture than can highlight the authenticity in your intentions and love – an act of a true gentleman.
As outlined by Brett & Kate McKay on TheArtofManliness.com, they walk you through a few guidelines that will hopefully ease your anxiety, and ideally, have you enjoy venturing through this rite of passage:
Talk to your girlfriend first.
Try to meet him before you ask.
Sit down with him man-to-man.
Start out expressing your feelings for his daughter.
Explain your wish to marry his daughter.
Promise him that you’ll take care of his daughter for the rest of her life.
Respectfully ask for his blessing.
Now that you have found “the one”, our recommendation is to read their full article, as they present some interesting points and suggestions to ponder on. Worthy of a few minutes of your time. Enjoy.